Two weeks ago I got a phone call that I was looking forward to and I didn’t know at the time that a part of me would regret it. See I’m a stay at home mom I have been for quite a while two and a half years to be exact. I loved every aspect of being a stay at home mom but like any job sometimes I complained and deeded it I didn’t know how amazing I had it. Now back to that phone call I got a call letting me know I would be a brand new official working member of society that meant contributing taxes and earning a paycheck. After that phone call ended I cried.
See I cried because I was happy about what I had gained but, sad about what I had lost. I didn’t realize that working mom’s lose so much. They lose precious time spent with their children and they lose time for themselves.
I knew working meant less time with my little one and more time trying to manage my time plus working 9 hour days. I sat down and wrote down a schedule and in that schedule I realized that out of my entire day I would get to spend on average 4 to 5 hours with my daughter if I was lucky enough. I was devastated.
You might take this as complaining but I wanted to shout out to the skies about how terrified I am. Because this upcoming Monday the 29th my whole life will change and I don’t think I’m ready for it but I know I have to be. See I wasn’t always like this I had a job I even managed school. Being a mom changed me and I know women work all over the world I won’t be the only working mom out there. It’s just my fears are getting in the way of being happy about this job. Because everything is changing and I’m the type of person that dreads change. See I get sad when I get rid of clothes or buy a brand new comforter because I know that means CHANGE.
Olivia Jade is my pride and joy the reason I wake up every morning with a smile. It’s hard raising a kid but knowing that I’m the center of her universe just brightens me because there’s one person in this world who absolutely adores me and it makes me happy. Leaving her with my mom everyday will be the hardest thing in the world but I know in the end she will be okay her mom will be okay and we will figure out this new change in both our lives.
Evolving Mom 